Why Friends Grow Apart
Some people are lucky enough to have friends that last a lifetime--the kind that remember your horrific haircut in grade school or your unfortunate fashion experimentation in high school (pegging your pants seemed cool at the time). However, many friends can grow apart over the years instead of growing closer. Rather than looking at this as a failure, it's important to consider some of the reasons that your friendship may be suffering. Then, you can figure out whether your lifelong friend is worth keeping in your life, or if it's time to step back a bit.
Some of the top reasons once-great friends grow apart can include moving and/or distance, different lifestyles, philosophical or religious differences, and even different communication styles. With situations such as distance or communication styles (i.e., she loves to chat on the phone for hours while you'd prefer the occasional, brief IM or email), it's usually worth finding a middle ground and maintaining your friendship. While you may have to work at it a bit more, having someone who knows your history--and you!--inside and out can be priceless. These are the friends that can get you through hard times and keep you laughing no matter what.
What Happens When There's No Longer Common Ground
However, if different lifestyles or beliefs are causing you two to drift apart, it may be time to step back and re-evaluate what purpose your friendship has--for both of you. Even though opposites can attract (yes, this can work for friends, too) and it's a good idea to have friends that have experiences to share that are different from yours, sometimes it just means that you can't truly connect with this person at this point in your lives. For example, if you work at a tech job, enjoy spending time with your spouse or significant other, and love laid-back activities while your wild child high school best friend spends her days tending bar and her nights partying, you may not have much to offer each other in terms of companionship.
At this point, instead of fretting about letting a valued friendship go, it may be a good idea to simply take a step back. After all, growing apart doesn't mean that friends need to cut each other out of their lives, it may just mean that you might both be happier by calling every few months to catch up rather than every other day.
Friendships, especially ones with years of history behind them, are wonderful. But that doesn't mean that you can't question what their priority is in your life. Above all, keep in mind that friendships should be a source of pleasure and support for both people involved--it shouldn't be about staying close "just because" or dealing with feelings of obligation. If you feel more obligated than excited to see your old friend's number on your caller ID, don't be afraid to ask whether the two of you have significantly grown apart.
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